Everyday, Forever
by only here in your arms
Summary: Clare Edwards receives the worst phone call of her life, leading to a life defining tragedy, and a moment of happiness too good to be true. One-Shot.


**Inspired by: Degrassi Mini "I Won't Forget"**

**The ending is crap but I'm very proud of this. Hope you enjoy, thank you for reading, and please review.**

**This is a ONE SHOT.**

* * *

><p>"<em>Clare, you have to come home. Now.<em>"

After Adam explained the situation, Clare was back in a cab, heading to the airport. She was supposed to stay in San Francisco attending and covering an art show but she couldn't stay. Not after that phone call.

"_It's serious, Clare."_

Clare was reasoning with the man at the airport, demanding a ticket for the next flight home to Toronto but it was leaving in ten minutes and there was no way she'd get on the plane on time. The next flight after would be in five hours and that just wasn't good enough.

But there was no use. She had a flight in five hours, not ten minutes, back home. She sat in the waiting area holding her phone, staring at the screen, waiting for a call.

For what call? Good news or bad? What did she want to hear?

"_It was an accident Clare! I'm so sorry."_

After five treacherous hours of waiting, Clare was finally sitting in her airplane seat, her legs bouncing up and down in nervousness. She was hoping to fall asleep so she didn't have to spend hours staring at the seat in front of her but she knew her dreams would be filled with terrible scenarios.

She decided to replay her morning in her mind, the last good memory she held.

* * *

><p>"<em>You're always travelling Clare, it's time for you to just…stay with me." Eli pulled Clare closer to him as they laid in bed after spending the night in Clare's apartment.<em>

"_Actually this is the perfect time in my life to take these opportunities," she told him, tangling their fingers together between them. Eli pressed his lips on her knuckles. "You know how much I love travelling and this job."_

"_I know," he groaned. "But having you away from me for so long is torture. We've spent so much time apart."_

_Clare touched the side of Eli's face, tracing her finger along the contours of his cheek and jaw. "Just think about this…once I can get a writing job that stays here, which won't be long from now because I heard my boss talking about giving me a promotion, the wait will be worth it."_

_Eli smiled weakly and leaned over to press their lips together chastely. "I know you love this job. I'm just whining."_

"_But I love you more," she assured him._

"_I know that too," he replied with a smile. Clare pulled him over her and leaned up for a kiss which Eli replied to with the same enthusiasm. She got so loss in the kiss that she didn't even realize that she and Eli were both naked in a matter of minutes._

_He pulled his lips away, breathing deeply, and Clare could see some other emotion in his eyes. He seemed like he was hiding something from her and this made her worry._

"_What's wrong?" she asked softly, taking Eli's head in her hands._

_Eli opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. After a minute, he sighed. "Nothing. I'll tell you later. Just…promise me we'll be together forever, okay?"_

_That was a promise she was willing to keep. "Of course," she told him. "Everyday, forever."_

_They spent their morning together, tangled up in each other, until Eli drove Clare to the airport. After a long goodbye kiss, she waved him goodbye. He looked regretful and sad, hating the goodbyes, but Clare assured him that with each goodbye it was even closer to the beginning of their forever._

* * *

><p>Clare had spent the entire trip staring out the window. She wanted to relive that happy moment forever because now, she didn't know if she would have more of them.<p>

"_The police are trying to figure out what caused the accident, it was a deserted road and—"_

"_Where is he now?"_

"_Hospital," Adam said with a struggle. "He's in the emergency room Clare. Oh God, what if he doesn't make it?"_

"_Don't say that," Clare cried into her phone. "We have to pray, we have to hope, okay?"_

"_It's serious Clare," he continued as if Clare never spoke. "It's serious. The police were describing the damage and I heard the crash because I was on the phone with him. If I didn't call him, this wouldn't have happened. This wouldn't have happened! It was an accident Clare! I'm so sorry."_

"_Adam, it's not your fault. It's not. I'm coming home now. I don't care what I'll have to do, I'm on my way."_

"Adam!"

She caught his attention as she ran down the hallway of the hospital, her heels clicking on the floor, and she was amazed with herself that she hadn't tripped on the way. But she was practically flying, wondering, hoping.

It was many hours later, too many in between the phone call and now, and Clare could only hope for good news.

Adam stood up from his seat and Clare could see his red eyes from a few feet away. He looked exhausted, haven't slept for days, and she was overcome with guilt. If she had stayed, Adam wouldn't have been left alone to deal with the situation. She felt selfish.

"So?" Clare asked out of breath.

Adam shook his head and tears swelled up in his eyes again. He took a hold of his dearest friend and cried into her shoulder, and Clare froze in disbelief. "_He didn't make it_."

She had been too late.

Clare held onto Adam for dear life and found herself bawling into his shoulder. They cried into each other, each of them leaning to the other for support, as their cries filled the hallway outside the room.

Eli was gone.

* * *

><p>"What were you guys talking about?" Clare asked Adam as they stood in front of Eli's grave. Everyone else left but Adam and Clare had yet to move. They were without Eli for days now and it still felt surreal. As if leaving him would make it sink in more. Which it would.<p>

"_Are you family?" the doctor asked Clare. She and Adam were sitting together now, holding each other's hand. Bullfrog and Cece were finally there and they were both crying their eyes out. Adam told them the news when they arrived._

"_I'm…his fiancé," Clare answered, flashing her purity ring. It wasn't true but it might as well have been._

"_His injuries were too serious beyond repair…"_

Clare was sure she had spent the days between then and now crying in her bed, clutching the pillow Eli used every night. But she couldn't be sure, she had no recollection of anything.

"I don't know if you want to know," Adam said honestly.

"I do," Clare said. "I want to know."

A breeze passed by them and it made Clare shiver. It was a sign. Eli was there. She closed her eyes and tried to imagine him standing between her and Adam, holding her hand, joking with him, and she almost started crying again.

"I called him…because he left a text for me saying to," Adam started. "He said he was just coming home from dropping you off. He was always so sad to have to say goodbye to you. This time…he told me that he chickened out of something."

_He pulled his lips away, breathing deeply, and Clare could see some other emotion in his eyes. He seemed like he was hiding something from her and this made her worry._

"What?" Clare almost demanded. She wanted to know. She needed to know. Now.

Adam turned and looked at her and his eyes were tearing once again. They promised each other that they wouldn't cry today, they had done so enough for the past few days. They had to stay strong for each other but Adam was crumbling.

"He said…he was supposed to propose that morning."

Clare's heart fell as she asked Adam to tell her the conversation.

"_I was going to do it," Eli said. Adam was eating cereal at his table, listening to Eli rant. "I knew what I was going to say and everything but…I saw this look in her eye. She loves her job so much, she wouldn't give it up for me."_

"_You know, proposing to her doesn't mean she's physically tied down to you. Actually I think the difference between now and you proposing is only another ring on her finger. You guys are practically engaged anyways," Adam told him._

"_I don't know why I couldn't do it," Eli sighed. "There was this little voice inside my head saying, 'she'll say no, she'll say no'."_

"_Eli, the next time you see her, just do it."_

_Eli laughed. "You say it likes it's easy."_

"_Shouldn't it be?"_

"_I guess…" Eli replied. "I love her, man. She promises we'll be together forever."_

"_Tell me something I don't know," Adam teased. "Just know that if I'm not best man, you're dead to me."_

"_Deal. Look Adam, I—"_

Clare could hear the crash in her mind. She shivered again and wanted to cry.

"The last thing he heard was me saying he was dead to me," Adam muttered, now holding his head down.

"He knew you were kidding," Clare replied.

"That doesn't make me feel any better."

Another breeze came past them and Clare breathed it in. She could feel it. He was there.

"We'll never feel better…will we?" Adam asked.

"Not fully but Eli would want us to try," she said sincerely. She took Adam's hand blindly and felt him take it strongly.

* * *

><p>Still in her funeral clothes and shoes, Clare was laying down in her bed facing Eli's spot. His pillow was in its rightful place and her hand was over his spot, wishing he was there. She imagined they way he looked in the morning, closed eyes and fluttering lashes, and the way they would opened as she ran her hand over his cheek. She imagined his smile, the first thing he would do at the sight of her, and as many times as she'd seen him smile, it always created butterflies in her stomach. She imagined the way he held her, the way her body fit to his and the way he always felt so warm.<p>

She imagined and wished he was there as she kept her eyes closed, dreaming becoming easier in her mind.

When Clare opened her eyes, she found green eyes staring at her. She almost smiled as he did and she was close to tears again. She hadn't cried all day, feeling exhausted from tears, but now she really wanted to.

Because he was still with her.

"The color black doesn't suit you," Eli told her, a smile gracing his lips. "I prefer the floral patterns and denim."

Clare almost laughed. "I do too."

"A frown doesn't suit you either," he continued. "You need to smile."

"It's really hard to smile," Clare admitted. "I don't know when I will again."

"Well…you're here with me now, shouldn't that make you smile?"

And it did. Clare found herself smiling and reaching for Eli's cheek and when her hand fell through him, she frowned again. "I wish you were still with me," she cried. Now she was sobbing, her hand in the air where Eli was. "It's not fair. It's not fair that one moment you were mine and now…"

"I will _always_ be yours," Eli assured her. "You will never have to worry about that."

Clare watched as Eli raised his hand to touch her face and she wished she could feel it, she wished she could lean into the warmth, but it was gone. It was all gone. He was still gone.

"It's not fair," she breathed, leaning further into her pillow. "It's not. You were taken away from me. And Adam. And Cece and Bullfrog."

"But…you all have each other," he told her. "And I will always be here whenever you need me. Like now."

"It's not the same," Clare cried, her words muffled. "It will never be the same."

Suddenly she felt warmth on her cheek and through her teary eyes she saw Eli's hand on her cheek and she reached up to touch it. She sighed at the feeling of his skin, he was too real, and she knew it wasn't healthy. He was really gone but she could still feel him.

"I love you so much," Eli spoke, his thumb caressing her cheek. "And I know that you love me just as much. But you can't stop living and you can't live in your sadness forever."

"When the one you live for is gone, it's hard to think about going on." She took his hand and felt complete bliss.

"This isn't real," Clare admitted to herself.

"No, it's not," Eli agreed. "But it's perfectly okay to imagine."

"Once in a while, when I'm missing you, I'll imagine," she said with sincerity. She let go of his hand and placed her own under her head. "I wish I could kiss you right now but I know if I do, it would only hurt me knowing I couldn't do it again."

"You took the words right out of my mouth," he laughed. Then his face turned soft and serious. "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too," she whispered. Suddenly he was gone and Clare could smell his scent. There was warmth on his side of the bed and that was impossible but she felt it. She fell asleep with her arm extended out, as it would be if she hugged Eli to her as they slept.

When she woke up, her arm was around his pillow and her head laid on it. It sure wasn't the same as cuddling to Eli but it'd have to do.


End file.
